I don't know how I'm going to find the strength to do everything that I know I need to do. I'm supposed to be reading about bankruptcy laws right now, but this is all I can think about at the moment. Everything seems like it's been so much harder for me since my fiancee and I went our separate ways. One look around this place and it's obvious to see the state of mind I've been in. First of all, the fact that I'm even in a position where I have to look up bankruptcy laws says a lot. I've got a growing pile of unopened bills on the kitchen table that's been there for weeks. The place is essentially a wreck. I've got a friend who's coming over later today to help me clean and clear things out. I can't have all these reminders of her. Once I do that, I think I'll be able to handle my finances and day-to-day responsibilities better. This is probably the biggest step I've been able to take since she's been gone. I didn't want to part with any of her stuff before. I guess I was still in the denial phase. I was still hanging onto that last bit of hope that she might come back. I'm able to be more truthful with myself now.